LOL-The Toilet Paper Caper

The Ladies of Lallybroch™
Toilet Paper Caper

The Ladies of Lallybroch™ proudly present the series of events leading up to the brainstorm that became the Toilet Paper Caper....

It was March of 2001. A certain hoser was beginning to think about potential birthday gifts for Lallybroch's founder and Head Hoser, Judie. A special part of the gift that year required asking a favor of our favorite author--a short piece of hosed writing, created especially for Judie's natal day. An excerpt of the email request follows.

Dear Diana,

...Anyway, your birthday post to the Social Board got me thinking for a bit, but I soon stopped due to the strain. Now that I am feeling better again *g*, I wanted to approach you about perhaps asking you maybe, sort of, possibly, pretty please with sugar on top, if you might write something for Judie. Maybe in the voices of the book characters or maybe something really hosed like a character jumping forward in time to say happy birthday to her or.... well, you get the picture, eh?

Of course we could "try" to do this ourselves, but *g*

Let me know. I'll try hard to think *ouch* of something else if not - and it IS okay if you cannot, or do not wish to do this.

All the best,
Charyl, LoL

Herself, gracious as always, replied as follows. (Certain emphasis has been added--hosed prerogative, eh? *G*)

Dear Charyl--

   At the moment, I have roughly two brain cells that are not devoted to finishing the book, and one of those is trying to remember to buy toilet paper. (The other one seems to be asleep.)

   Meaning, sure, I'll try to think of something, but don't expect brilliance. I _hope_ the book will be done by the end of April, which would then give me a little breathing room for novel and interesting birthday presents in May. Or, if brilliance fails, I could just send Judie a large chunk of manuscript.

   But _do_ please remind me closer to the time--because I _will_ forget before then, I guarantee it.

   Best,

   --Diana

And so the call went out to the members of the Ladies of Lallybroch™. Diana could not be expected to finish a book PLUS remember to buy toilet paper! Someone, or several someones, would have to pitch in! Rolls of TP soon began to arrive on Diana's doorstep. From all over the world, hosers sent toilet paper to help Herself free up that one extra braincell.

The book was completed, and Diana came through with a blessing for Judie's birthday.

A BIRTHDAY BLESSING

for Madame J. Rousselle, in Token of the great Affection and Esteem

in which she is held by all her Acquaintance, including the Undersigned:

May God's blessing be yours,

And well may it befall you.

May God's goodness be yours,

And well and seven times well

May you spend your life.

Be the eye of God dwelling with you,

The foot of Christ in guidance with you,

The shower of the Spirit pouring on you,

Richly and generously,

Each day and night

Of your portion in the world.

The love and affection of heaven be to you,

The love and affection of the saints be to you,

The love and affection of the angels be to you,

The love and affection of the sun be to you,

The love and affection of the moon be to you,

Each day and night of your life,

To keep you from haters, to keep you from harmers,

to keep you from oppressors.

God's blessing be yours,

And well may it befall you;

Christ's blessing be yours,

And well be you entreated;

Spirit's blessing be yours,

And well spend you your life,

Each day that you rise up,

Each night that you lie down.

May God's blessing be yours,

And well may it befall you

On each day and each night

Of your portion in the world.

With the most sincere Sentiments of

Your Most Humble and Obd't. Servant,

JAMES ALEXANDER MALCOLM MACKENZIE FRASER, Esq.